Laughter and praise songs to God is good for your soul and well being like a good medicine
Yodeling fun
2 DRYBAR-FRED KLETT-Jokes to put a smile on your face!๐
2 Jokes to put a smile on your face!๐
ใHousewives Outingใ
A bus full of housewives going on a picnic….
Sadly it fell into a river, all perished.๐ฑ
Each husband cried for a week.๐ญ
One husband continued for more than two weeks!!!๐ณ
When asked that did he miss his wife so much?๐ง
He replied miserably:
โNo.My wife missed the bus !!!โ๐ฐ
ใQueue of Obedienceใ
In heaven God told all husbands & wives to gather for a meeting!
He told the men to stand in two queues…
Those who are controlled by their wives & those who control their wives!
Only 1 man stood in d second Queue…
God said “So you control ur wife?”
Man: “R u CRAZY ???
My wife told me to stand here”๐๐๐…
_*Intelligent Answers๐๐*_
_*Wife๐ก*, “Tell me who is STUPID ? You or Me?”_
_*Husband (Calmly)*, “Everyone knows that, you are so intelligent, you will never marry a STUPID person.”_
๐๐
_*What a decent way to Reply!*_
๐๐
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_*Wife to her Accountant Husband*_: ๐ฒ
_What is Inflation?_
_*Husband*: Earlier you were 36-24-36._
_But now you are
48-40-48._
_Though you have everything bigger than before, your value has become less than before._
_This is INFLATION .๐_
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_*๐๐ป๐๐ฒWonders before and after Marriage.๐๐ฝ๐ป๐๐ป๐ฒ*_
_When you are in love,_
_Wonders happen._
_But once you get married,_
_You wonder, what happened
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_*๐๐ป๐ฒ๐Philosophy of Marriage*_ :
_At the beginning, every wife treats her husband as GOD.._
_Later, somehow don’t know why.._
_alphabets get reversed
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_*๐ป๐๐ป๐๐ปSecret formula for Married Couples…*_
_”Love One Another”_
_And if it doesn’t work, bring the last word in the middle.!!!!๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ_
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_*Don’t laugh alone pass it on !!๐*_
Heaven and hell choice
While walking down the street a Philippine senator was tragically hit by a car and died.
His soul arrives in Heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance. “Welcome to Heaven”, says St. Peter. “Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts you see, so we’re not sure what to do with you.”
“No problem. Just let me in,” says the senator.
“Well, I’d like to, but I have orders from the higher ups. What we’ll do is have you spend one day in Hell and one in Heaven. Then you can choose where to spend eternity.”
“Really? I’ve made up my mind. I want to be in Heaven,” says the senator.
“I’m sorry, but we have our rules.” And with that St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down to Hell. The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a golf course. In the distance a clubhouse and standing in front of it are all his friends and other politicians who had worked with him. Everyone is very happy and in evening dress. They run to greet him, shake his hands and reminisce about the good times they had while getting rich at the expense of the people. They played a friendly round of golf and then dine on lobster, maliputo, caviar, Cebu lechon and the finest champagne. Also present is the devil who really is a very friendly guy and who is having a good time and telling jokes. They are all having such a good time that before the senator realizes it, it is time to go.
Everyone gives him a hearty farewell and waves while the elevator rises.
The elevator goes up, up and the door reopens in Heaven while St. Peter is waiting for him
“Now it’s time to visit Heaven.” So, 24 hours passed with the senator joining a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp, Cebu guitar and singing. They have a good time and before he realizes it the 24 hours have gone by and St. Peter returns. “Well then you’ve spent a day in Hell and another in Heaven. Now choose your eternity.
“The senator reflects for a minute before he answers: “Well, I would never have said it before, I mean Heaven has been delightful, but I think I would be better off in Hell.” So St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down to Hell.
Now the doors of the elevator open and he’s in the middle of a barren land covered with waste and garbage. He sees all his friends, dressed in rags picking up the trash and putting it in black bags as more trash falls from above. The devil comes over to him and puts his arm around his shoulders.
“I don’t understand,” stammers the senator.
“The other day I was here and there was a golf course and clubhouse and we ate lobster, maliputo, and caviar, lechon, drank champagne and we danced and had a great time. Now there’s just a wasteland full of garbage and my friends look miserable. What happened?”,
The devil smiles at him and says, “Yesterday we were campaigning. Today you voted”.
VOTE WISELY IN 2022
1-10 in English sentence construction
Only Malaysians and Singaporeans are world champion in this English!!!
Ah Huat and an Englishman were asked to make a sentence using 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9.10.
The Englishman tried very hard but could not do it. Then the Englishman turned to Ah Huat and very confidently said, If I cannot do this, I am very sure this would be way beyond your ability.”
Ah Huat thought for a while and this was what he came up with…
1 day I went 2 climb a 3 outside a house to peep. The couple in the house saw me. So, I panic and 4 down. The man rushed out and wanted to 5 with me. I ran until I fell 6 and threw up. So, I ran into a 7-eleven and grabbed some 8 to throw at him. Then I took a 9 and tried to stab at him. 10 God he ran away.
10, I put the 9 back and paid for the 8 and left 7-eleven. Next day I called my boss and told him I was 6. He said 5 , tomorrow also no need to come back 4 work. He also asked me to go and climb a 3 and jump down! I don’t understand. I am so nice 2 him but I don’t know what he 1.
The Englishman fainted!
( Even an Englishman can’t construct sentences using numerics. This ability is exclusive only to Malaysians and Singaporeans! )
Tea Bag
What goes in dry, comes out wet and gives you much pleasure?
A tea bag.
Stand on his head
Why did the Australian stand on his head?
To turn things over in his mind.
Mental Hospital
In a “Mental Hospital” of 38 patient’s, a journalist asks the Doctor: How do you determine whether to admit a mental patient or not to?
Dr: Well, we fill a bathtub with water and then give the patient;
(a)a teaspoon,
(b) a glass,
(c) a bucket,
and ask them to empty the bathtub.”
Journalist: “Oh, obviously a normal person would use the bucket because its bigger.”
Dr:”No, a normal person would pull the drain plug! Please go to bed No. 39. We will start further investigations on you!”
………………………….
You also thought of the bucket, didn’t you? Please go to bed No.40!
An Australian Politician and a Pope
An Australian politician died by chance on the same day as the Pope. They smiled at each other at the gate into heaven and then looked at St Peter. To the Pope’s astonishment St Peter rushed away and came back with a red carpet which he rolled out. He was expecting ‘the treatment’ but this was gratifying. But instead of beckoning to the Pope St Peter asked the politician to come into heaven. The Pope was thoroughly put out and he imperiously asked St Peter to explain himself. “Well”, said St Peter, we’ve got a lot of Popes in heaven but this is the first Australian politician we’ve seen.”
Hinduism and the Will
Did you hear about the Australian who attended a lecture on Hinduism?
He rushed to his lawyer’s office on Monday morning to change his will to leave everything to himself,-just in case.
Ghost joke
Late one night Jack takes a shortcut through the cemetery. Hearing a tapping sound he becomes scared and quickens his pace. The tapping gets louder and Jack is now scared out of his wits. Then he notices a man chiselling a tombstone. “Thank goodness!” Jack says to the man. “You gave me a fright of my life. Why are you working so late?” “They spelt my name wrong.”